By Camille Dickerson-Lemieux, Co-Director of the Compassionate Listening Project
I have been reflecting on the last time Trump got elected, eight years ago. Eight years ago, I was living in the Panamanian jungle in an eco-village that happened to be televised. I was 22 and such an idealist, and the day Trump got elected, all of us young interns took turns standing up and giving speeches about voting with our dollar and committing to having dialogues, all while holding each other as we cried. Eight years ago, it had never occurred to me that people could be afraid enough or intolerant enough to vote for a caricature of a person who was so far from compassion. But that day, and all the days that followed for the last eight years, I learned how deep the root of intolerance went.
When I went to India in 2014, I visited a Kali temple, saw the image of the goddess, and felt the fear and power in her image. That moment was the first time I understood the depth of hopelessness that one must feel to pray to a demon for help. They sacrificed a baby goat while I was there. Everyone’s eyes seemed manic, emblazoned with the power of death.
After Trump got into office, I went to the Women’s March and almost immediately went to live at a Zen monastery. One of the first things a priest told me was that I looked relieved when I got there. I know I was relieved. For a moment, I could silence the never-ending flurry in my mind and live in a little oasis of peace and kindness. Eventually, that got tarnished too. But it was there that I vowed to love and offer beauty and kindness wherever I went as much as I was able.
And then the pandemic hit, and I thought maybe this would bring people together. It felt like it for a little bit, but then, you know… I started making videos of my art, and honestly, making these videos is how I’ve been surviving. My family members have been dying, and there have been moments where I didn’t know if I could possibly survive the pain. It didn’t feel possible for all the grief to fit in my heart. I don’t know how to survive in this world as a deep-feeling, sensitive person who cares so much about people. But somehow, every day, I’ve been surviving, and I think I will keep surviving because I know you other deep-feeling, sensitive people are surviving with me.
After everything that has happened over these eight years, I don’t think I am capable of closing my heart, even if I wanted to. I have been humbled by my humanity. When I was 22, I thought I could be a hero, but over these years, I have discovered we are not born heroes to have a hero’s experience. We are born human to have a human experience. I will be fallible. On my own, I cannot do all the good the world needs, but the world needs all the good I can do. I will continue to make my silly art videos because they are a respite for me and proof that I can survive and make beauty, even if it’s just for me, even if everything is going wrong. And I will continue to teach Compassionate Listening because we are only human, and sometimes we need help. We need to tell our story, and we need to show the people around us that they are not alone and are worthy of being heard.
It is terrible to wake up and see the world we live in for what it is. And now that we know, now what? These Trump supporters didn’t go anywhere; they’re definitely not going anywhere. Their opinions aren’t changing. Now what? They are desperate for a reason.
In the meantime I will keep praying:
For as long as space endures
And for as long as living beings remain
So then may I too abide
To dispel the misery of the world.
2016 in the Panamanian Jungle
Camille Dickerson-Lemieux is the Co-Director of The Compassionate Listening Project, where she channels her lifelong dedication to bridging understanding and healing. Her journey has led her to live in intentional communities, from a Zen monastery to a jungle eco-town, experiences that deepened her desire to explore the roots of conflict and the art of reconciliation. This commitment led her to earn a Master’s in Reconciliation from the University of Winchester. Guided by values of kindness, authenticity, and beauty, Camille believes that every person deserves to be heard and understood.
Through her role with Compassionate Listening, Camille combines her love of content creation and storytelling to amplify this message alongside the facilitators she works with. As a lifelong artist, she’s passionate about merging her creative expression with her dedication to reconciliation. When she's not working, Camille creates art videos for her YouTube channel and enjoys life with her husband and two cats.
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