Israel & Palestine: A Way Forward
- TCLP Staff
- Apr 4
- 4 min read
By Scott Dickman, Compassionate Listening Facilitator
March 17, 2025
I have followed the Israel-Palestine conflict for decades, but recent events have shaken me to my core. The October 7 attack by Hamas against Israel and Israel’s disproportionate retaliation - treating all Gazans as Hamas - have escalated an already appalling level of suffering on both sides still further. The inhumanity each side has inflicted upon the other is undeniable and is indefensible. For this reason, I can no longer accept the idea that responsibility for this conflict—or any conflict—should be measured by "body count." A more compelling measure of responsibility lies in the choices made at the highest levels of power: whether to perpetuate the cycle of violence or summon the courage to break it. Alternatively, if we seek a path to peace after decades of failed diplomacy and violence, we must acknowledge that leadership on both sides has failed. A broader narrative is needed, along with a new paradigm - one that recognizes each side’s fears and prioritizes reconciliation over perpetual warfare.
First, however, we must acknowledge that the violence of October 7 and the devastation in Gaza have shattered trust on both sides, leaving trauma so deep that reconciliation may seem impossible. Yet hope must prevail - painfully, we know the alternative all too well. History offers recent examples, such as South Africa and Northern Ireland, where peace did not emerge from trust but from the recognition that perpetual violence was unsustainable. It also shows how fear, vulnerability, and the absence of self-determination fuel conflict. The following brief review highlights events that have created and sustained the deep vulnerabilities both sides continue to endure.
Jewish vulnerability arises from centuries of persecution, diaspora, genocide, persistent antisemitism, regional hostilities, and existential threats. These experiences have fostered a deep-seated need for security, resilience, and self-determination.
Palestinian vulnerability arises from forced displacement, occupation, statelessness, economic hardship, and denial of self-determination. These conditions have fueled a persistent struggle for rights, identity, dignity, and sovereignty amid ongoing conflict and geopolitical instability.
Unsurprisingly, both narratives are shaped by deep intergenerational trauma, and both sides have resorted to violence in the pursuit of safety. In South Africa and Northern Ireland, when political and military solutions repeatedly failed, a “third way” emerged - one that prioritized understanding and acknowledging the pain and aspirations of the other. The success of reconciliation efforts in these countries affirms that when each side humanizes the other, lasting peace becomes possible.
For example, South Africa’s Truth and Reconciliation Commission (1996) sought to uncover human rights violations, emphasizing forgiveness over retribution. Similarly, the Good Friday Agreement (1998) ensured all parties in Northern Ireland had a voice, fostering reconciliation. Both efforts relied on compassionate listening, acknowledgment of suffering, and structured reconciliation.
A fundamental obstacle to peace is the narrative each side holds of the other. Israelis and Palestinians are taught early on the stories of historical grievances and violence, shaping their identities, reinforcing divisions, and justifying continued mistrust. Compassion challenges these narratives by encouraging individuals to listen to the personal experiences of those on the opposing side. Programs like “Combatants for Peace” and “The Parents Circle-Families Forum” bring together Israelis and Palestinians who have directly experienced the consequences of violence. Through dialogue, former soldiers and grieving families recognize their pain mirrored in the other’s experience, grieving and healing together. Compassion allows individuals to meet not as enemies, but as fellow human beings who, like each other, love, suffer, and long for peace - hoping for safety, health, access to education, meaningful work, and the opportunity to fulfill their potential.
Advocating for compassion and respectful dialogue in this context is challenging. Anger runs deep, and ongoing violence only deepens wounds and fuels cycles of retaliation. Many Israelis fear that showing compassion toward Palestinians threatens their security, while many Palestinians worry that recognizing Israeli suffering undermines their struggle for self-determination. Yet, compassion is essential in shaping political dialogue. When negotiators approach discussions with a genuine understanding of the other’s experience, perspective, and aspirations, policies are more likely to reflect these critical considerations.
Nelson Mandela’s leadership in post-apartheid South Africa is a powerful example of how compassion, rather than vengeance, can heal divisions. If Israeli and Palestinian leaders adopted a similar approach - acknowledging each other's suffering and seeking solutions that ensure dignity and security for all - a breakthrough in peace efforts could be achievable.
"Kumbaya"? Perhaps. But regardless of religious affiliation, fundamental moral principles should guide our policies and how we treat each other - with respect, fairness, justice, and compassion. May it be so.
Scott Dickman is a longtime peace advocate who resided in Israel during the '70s. He later joined the CL Israel & Palestine Journey in 2016. He engaged with the New Hampshire Board of Building a Culture of Peace and now serves on the NH Peace Action Board, along with NH Friends of Combatants for Peace and J Street. These organizations focus on reconciliation and bridging differences. He is currently facilitating Israel-Palestine discussions at a local synagogue. Scott is semi-retired, and relishes family time with his new grandson, while pursuing his outdoor passion through conservation easements with conservancies.