Bill Jacobsen, with CL training group in Kigali, Rwanda

 

I welcomed the opportunity but was a little daunted by the challenge of offering a training that calls for the level of sensitivity and the nuance of Compassionate Listening language. Fortunately, my translator, Beaucoup turned out to be beaucoup good! He helped me successfully negotiate through some translational brambles. For instance, when I talked about the need to be anchored in our hearts, Beaucoup thought I said angered, which raised some interesting questions. He illustrated anchor by miming being seasick in a small boat tossed around by waves while being tied to an anchor. Once I found the image of a new baby being held, loved, nursed, and cared for by a mother, then they could understand the concept of anchor. That established for all that the heart as a place of safety, compassion, and being loved.

The notion of building a protective wall of bricks around our heart led to some very thoughtful and penetrating questions and discussion. One woman asked, “But if I open my heart to another person doesn’t that put me at risk of being hurt?” and a man said, “Even if I melt the wall around my heart how can I reach past the other person’s wall?” It was thrilling watching people’s heads nod and faces light up as they understood.

 

When I did the sociometry exercise – putting numbers on paper, stringing them out on the ground and asking them to rank themselves relative to questions around conflict – people were confused and puzzled. But when I used the image of a thermometer, and asked them to take their conflict temperature, it all made sense. It quickly became apparent that I couldn’t teach using abstract concepts but had to illustrate and provide analogies for each by using concrete images and rough drawings. These brought the abstract CL concepts to life and stimulated a lot of very thoughtful conversation.

 

Since this training was a pilot project and was a test to see if this material would be something the Africans want, I was very pleased when they asked me when I could return and do a full training. In the final circle the most skeptical man, a district politician shared how when he showed up he asked himself what he was doing there. Surely there were more important things waiting for him in his office. But as time went on, he realized how helpful these skills would be back at work. Happily, I’ll be in Burundi in August and will be able to go back to Rwanda to continue the work.

 

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